Remember the Silent Sufferers

Posted: May 8, 2022 | Author: | Filed under: Abortion, Human Trafficking, Jesus, Motherhood, Orphans, Parenting, Poor, Suffering, Widows, women | Leave a comment

Usually on Mother’s Day, we celebrate all the things that mothers do for us, but more importantly, who they are. Our leadership team heard this week at the Leadercast conference that the person trusted more than anybody else by people is their … mothers.[1] Thank you moms for your examples of Christlikeness, your love and care for us and your presence. We lean on you so much. But in our leaning on our moms, do we forget that they suffer too? We have been literally living off their pain and suffering since the time we were conceived as they nurtured us in the womb and then gave birth to us. When I asked my wife Lori what she thinks women and moms need to hear this Mother’s Day, she said, “We need to remember how moms suffer too.” I know my mom is a tough farm girl and she often suffers silently. This immediately got me thinking about our study of the Book of Job and how there were others in the background that were silently suffering along with Job. This is true of all of life! We often forget that when we suffer, there are others in the background who are suffering as they watch us suffer. Think about how when you were a child is picked on by a bully at school and then you came home and acted out your repressed aggression on your siblings, pet or yelling at your parents, especially your mom. Moms silently suffer from what psychologists call our displacement when we redirect unwanted feelings onto people who are less threatening! Maybe some of us need to repent today and seek forgiveness for using our moms as emotional punching bags? Or think about after a mom comes home from work and has to prepare supper and do the laundry because the rest of us family members don’t step up. Worse, nobody asks them how their day was. Moms silently suffer. Or think about how when their adult children live a distance away and moms suffer the heartache of not seeing their children and grandchildren very often or worse their family lives geographically close but are emotionally distant. Moms silently suffer. I surveyed a few other mothers in our church this and asked to them to answer this question, “How do moms silently suffer?” Would you like to know their answers? A couple mom’s said, “Mothers silently suffer when their children make destructive choices, abandon the faith and give their parents the silent treatment. It is really hard to release our children to the Lord when they are on the run from Him.” Another mom said, “Mothers silently suffer when their husbands do not step up spiritually and lead their family with character and integrity.” Still another mom responded, “Moms, silently suffer with feelings of isolation, comparison, inadequacy and guilt, it’s a terrible life cycle. Turning to Social Media does not help, but makes it worse with other mom’s touched up and staged photos.” Another of you moms said, “Mothers silently suffer with loneliness. Maybe they suffer from postpartum depression or anxiety. I would never tell a mom, ‘Enjoy every moment because some moments are really hard.’” And still another mom responded, “Mothers silently suffer from miscarriages or if the miscarriage is known, people say unkind and unhelpful words.” And there are some of you mothers silently suffering as you care for a sick child today. Those were just a few answers from some of the moms in our church. Today, it might be good to ask your mom if you can, “Mom, what do you silently suffer with?” Then pray and ask the Lord to show you can you help them with that if possible.

It might be good though to first define what suffering is. According to two nursing professors Betty Ferrell and Nessa Coyle, “Suffering results when the most important aspects of a person’s identity are threatened or lost.”[2] “This is different from pain, which tends to be physical or social while suffering tends to be mental and personal.”[3] Job experienced both pain and suffering – physical and mental, social and personal. The story of Job emphasizes Job’s suffering and all the questions that go with it: what is the cause of suffering? Where is God in the midst of suffering? Is God just, when we observe or experience suffering? Will we love God even when we don’t love what He allows in our lives? At one time, Job was the richest and the most righteous man in the ancient near east. More importantly than being rich, Job had 10 children – 7 sons and 3 daughters. But then Satan came and wanted to attack God through Job. He asked God to cause Job to suffer so that Job would not trust in God, but curse Him. God allows Satan to cause Job’s suffering. So in one day, Job lost all his business, all his employees and all his children except for three servants who reported back this bad news. Then Satan infects Job with painful boils on his skin. And if that weren’t enough, Job’s “friends” show up and start interrogating him believing that Job was the cause of all his suffering because of his sin. It is this dialogue between Job and his friends that takes up a majority of the book. But we forget that Job is not just down in the dumps, he is actually in the dump. Canadian author Mike Mason states, “Job was once the most respected man, but now was banished from society, run out of town on a rail, treated as an outcast. That is why the Job 2:8 makes a point of telling us that he was sitting “among the ashes” and scratching himself with “broken pottery.” Where does one find heaps of ashes and broken pots? At the garbage dump, naturally. Job was not lying at home in his own comfortable bed between crisp white sheets and being waited on by private nurses; no, he was where all the other lepers and pariahs would be found, quarantined in the town dump.”[4]

And if Job was in the dump, where was Mrs. Job? It is safe to presume that she was not living with him in the dump because there is no mention of her. She was alone. She was grieving. She is the first of many silent sufferers in the Book of Job. I’ve made a list of them for us today. The Silent Sufferers of Job! The first is 1) Job’s wife (2:9-10) – I believe Job’s wife silently suffered with grief and loneliness. Why? Because not much is mentioned about her in the book. She is first mentioned in Job 2:9-10, “Then his wife said to him, ‘Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die. But he said to her, ‘You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?’” In a previous sermon by Pastor Kyle, he encouraged us not to be too hard on Mrs. Job. She lost all 10 of her adult children. Can you imagine? The woman was in deep grief and I think we need to give her lots of grace and compassion. Her husband Job did! Notice, Job did not say she was a foolish woman, but heading down that path. Job encouraged his wife to receive the good and also the bad from God. This reminds me what Christopher Timm, Ontario Director of Fellowship Christian Athletes, recently admitted in a newsletter that he does not hear falling out of people’s lips, “I don’t know why God is allowing all this good to happen to me?”[5]Did any of us walk in here saying that? Hopefully, our singing praises was actually acknowledging the receiving from God all that is good, but we don’t often question the good we receive – we believe we deserve it. Having such a perspective sure helps when we receive the bad too. Job’s wife was silently suffering from grief. This was accompanied by loneliness. Job, though a blameless man, may have been a negligent husband. I think this is hinted at in Job 31:10 when he offers her up to other men as the consequence if he were to lust after other women. He might be speaking in hyperbole because what loving husband would offer up his wife to other men if he were to lust. Compersion – the joy of seeing one’s spouse happy with another romantic partner – is a sickness, rather than the holy jealousy that protects a relationship. Song of Songs 8:6declares, “For love is a strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave.” Job’s wife was to be treasured. Instead, she a silent sufferer of grief and loneliness and possibly thought of property to be distributed as was common in that day. Job’s wife was a silent sufferer of grief and loneliness. Maybe you are too? Maybe you feel abandoned, grieved and lonely? Let me stop and pray for you right now! (Pray!)

Another silent sufferer in the Book of Job is: 2) The poor (22:6-7; 24:9-14). They are mentioned numerous times. Eliphaz accuses Job of oppressing the poor. Look at Job 22:5-7, “Is not your evil abundant? There is no end to your iniquities. For you have exacted pledges of your brothers for nothing and stripped the naked of their clothing. You have given no water to the weary to drink, and you have withheld bread from the hungry.” Job actually refutes this accusation in Job 29:11-12, “When the ear heard, it called me blessed, and when the eye saw, it approved, because I delivered the poorwho cried for help and the fatherless who had none to help him.” However, Job does acknowledge that there were poor amongst them and that they were  oppressed, even murdered, in Job 24:12, “The murderer rises before it is light, that he may kill the poor and needy and in the night he is like a thief.” I wonder this Mother’s Day how many of those who are poor in our community are being oppressed? Do we have eyes to see them or do we look ahead just trying to read their signs for help out of the corner of our eyes without actually making eye contact? Let’s remember that the homeless are children of some mother who probably longs to see them and who is silently suffering.

But it isn’t just wives and the poor who are suffering. Then there are the widows. This is the third silent sufferer in Job: 3) Widows (22:9). We see them described in Job 22:9a where again Eliphaz conjures up another false accusation against Job, “You have sent widows away empty.” Now you need to remember that there were no survivor benefits in that day for widows. If widows didn’t have family to look after them, they were left destitute and became poor like the previous silent sufferer I mentioned. This is why the Bible is so specific in encouraging us to look after widows (Deut. 14:28-29; 24:17-21; Ruth; Isaiah 1:17 and 1 Timothy 5:3-16). In fact, it goes so far in James 1:27, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit the orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”Widows silently suffer from grief, loneliness, poverty but also feel forgotten. May we not forget them! Maybe God is impressing upon you the name of a widow you need to contact this week and see how you can pray and care for them as a family? 

Accompanying wives, the poor and widows as silent sufferers, are also orphans. This is the fourth silent sufferer: 4) Orphans (22:9; 24:9). Eliphaz makes another false accusation against Job in Job 22:9, “You have sent widows away empty and the arms of the fatherless were crushed.” Sometimes when we can’t figure out suffering, in our frustration we become the cause of suffering and make false accusations. This is what Eliphaz did because Job did care for the orphans. We know this from Job 29:11-12, “When the ear heard, it called me blessed, and when the eye saw, it approved, because I delivered the poor who cried for help and the fatherless who had none to help him.” But taking care of the orphan did not seem to just be a past event for Job. Job had concern for the suffering of orphans in the midst of his own suffering in Job 24:9, “(There are those who snatch the fatherless child from the breast.)” Orphans are often abandoned, even kidnapped. This makes me think about abortion and human trafficking. The abortion issue has dominated our news cycle this week with the possible overturning of Roe vs. Wade by the U.S. Supreme Court and then Prime Minister Trudeau and his government’s reaction to encourage women to have more abortions here in Canada. How wicked! We praise God that abortions may become illegal in the U.S. But at the same time, we care for those women who find themselves in an unwanted pregnancy. We will have compassion on women who have had abortions and remind them that God’s grace is greater than all our sin. We also need to care for single moms who are trying provide for their families. And we also need to help stop human trafficking, which I would remind you that a week from Wednesday on May 18, at 6:30 PM, we are hosting an event as part of our Annual Chesterton lectures. There are groups in our area that we need to come alongside and help stop human trafficking – “those children snatched from the breast” whatever their age. These too are silent sufferers. 

All the silent sufferers so far have in common that they live in a sinful world. The final 

silent sufferer in Job might be the most forgotten about that is God Himself. God is the fifth silent sufferer in Job: 5) God! Now when I say that God is forgotten about as a silent sufferer, you may wonder if that is true on two accounts: a) can God suffer? And b) God is often cast as the cause of suffering so how can He suffer? Let’s go back to the definition of suffering: “Suffering results when the most important aspects of a person’s identity are threatened or lost.” God is a person! Of course, God cannot lose His identity, but it is often threatened. God is daily misrepresented. His name is used every day in vain. He is accused of indifference. In Job 22:2, God is cast as uncaring, “Can a man be profitable to God?” Mike Mason explains, “Eliphaz’s theology tries to remove God entirely from the sphere of compassionate involvement with humanity. It is as if he were to say, ‘Who do you think you are, Job carrying on as though God actually cares about you? Do you think it’s any skin off My nose whether you live or die?’”[6] Eliphaz thinks God is “indifferent to human virtue.”[7] But God does care about what you and I do! He does benefit when we follow Him and do good because it brings Him glory. God does not need our virtue to be a good Father, but He loves when we choose to obey Him! He is like a mother in that women do not need to have children to be fulfilled, but children when they honour their mothers, blesses that mother. It blesses God and our parents when we live right so let’s cooperate with the Holy Spirit this week in choosing to God. God silently suffers when we misrepresent Him as uncaring and indifferent to us. Another misrepresentation of God is that He protects the powerful and abusive. Job actually misspeaks when he questions God in Job 24:22, “Yet God prolongs the life of the mighty by His power.” Job was right that God does allow the powerful and oppressors to live, but Job is short-sighted. He fails to see God will bring justice to the oppressor. God is not to blame for wickedness. “Job wants the wicked to be judged and punished by God immediately. That is the only way he knows of dealing with human wickedness. The ideas of the repentance, reform, forgiveness, understanding or education of wrongdoers does not occur to him.”[8] We often forget when we sin and we suffer, God suffers alongside us. It cost Him the death of His Son! And yet like a good parent, He is patient with us!

So How does God help the silent sufferers? In the short time I have left, I want to remind us that God helps the silent sufferers in four ways: A) Restores what was lost and stolen (42:10, 13). We need to jump ahead to Job 42:10a, “And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job.” All that was lost and stolen from Job, God gave back. Now, will we experience that same promise? I believe yes, just maybe not until the new heavens and new earth. God restores what was lost and stolen from the silent sufferer and loud sufferer too. He also B) Redeems the oppressed. In the story of Job, it wasn’t just Job, Job’s wife, the poor, widows and orphans who were oppressed, but even Job’s friends, the oppressors, were oppressed. Way back Job 4:12-19Eliphaz says the source of his advice comes from a spirit, which was an evil spirit, “12 “Now a word was brought to me stealthily; my ear received the whisper of it. 13 Amid thoughts from visions of the night,when deep sleep falls on men, 14 dread came upon me, and trembling, which made all my bones shake.15 A spirit glided past my face; the hair of my flesh stood up. 16 It stood still, but I could not discern its appearance. A form was before my eyes; there was silence, then I heard a voice: 17 ‘Can mortal man be in the right before God? Can a man be pure before his Maker? 18 Even in his servants he puts no trust,and his angels he charges with error; 19 how much more those who dwell in houses of clay, whose foundation is in the dust, who are crushed like the moth.” Eliphaz was deceived by an evil spirit and doubted God’s ability to entrust us with things and more importantly, with people. However, God does entrust us with responsibilities every day – our jobs, our friends, our family and His Church. Giving us children shows God entrusts us with His most precious creations! And so though Eliphaz oppressed Job with his false accusations, Eliphaz himself was deceived and oppressed. And yet, God has Job pray for Eliphaz and his comrades to be freed and forgiven. We see this in Job 42:10b, “… when he prayed for his friends.” God redeems the oppressed silent and loud sufferer and He uses us to do it when we pray with people and proclaim God’s grace and gospel. God redeems the oppressed, but He also C) Remembers the forgotten. I find hope in Job 42:12-13, “And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning … He had also seven sons and three daughters.” Amazing! This was not only restoration but remembering the forgotten. Job’s wife was remembered. The heartache of losing her first 10 children was not replaced, but soothed with her next 10 children. And her husband’s eyes were for her only. And then lastly, God helps the silent sufferer by not only restoring, redeeming and remembering but also brings about D) Retribution for the wicked and wrong. Look at Job 42:7, “After the Lord had spoken these words to Job, the LORD said to Eliphaz, the Temanite, ‘My anger burns against you and your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right.’” God then required of Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar an offering that would be accepted if Job prayed for them.

What about us? Will God restore, redeem, and remember us in our silent suffering? Will He bring about retribution for wickedness? Yes! We know this because He already has in His Son Jesus. Jesus died for our wickedness, experiencing God’s wrath on our behalf. Because of Jesus we can have eternal life if we repent of our sins and believe in Him. That is the best Mother’s Day gift you could receive today. One you will never be disappointed with. “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.” (Acts 16:31) Jesus will restore all that was lost and stolen and we will live forever with Him in the new heavens and new earth. 

Here is the action point for this week: Remember the silent sufferer. Pray for them because we love Christ and He loves His fellow sufferers.

[1] David Horsager, “Trust,” Leadercast 2022, May 4, 2022.

[2] Betty R. Ferrell and Nessa Coyle, The Nature of Suffering and the Goals of Nursing (New York: Oxford University Press, 2008), 18. 

[3] Gerald W. Peterman & Andrew J. Schmutzer, Between Pain & Grace (Chicago: Moody Press, 2016), 14.

[4] Mike Mason, The Gospel According to Job (Wheaton: Crossway, 2002), 44.

[5] Christopher Timm, “FCA Canada Coaching May Newsletter,” May 2, 2022.

[6] Mason, 239.

[7] Francis I. Anderson, Job – An Introduction & Commentary (London: Inter-Varsity Press, 1976), 203.

[8] David J.A. Clines, Job 1-20 – Word Biblical Commentary (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1989), 617.